dont ask me for relationship advice because i will always just tell you to break up w/ them and throw their shit in a dumpster because i do not understand the concept of allowing anyone to treat you poorly this is a zero tolerance zone 


*tries to chill*

*accidentally does the most*

People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.
― Kim Culbertson (via stevenbong)
You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world,
and there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches.
― Dita von Teese (via volccano)


Poking holes in dad’s condoms so someone else can do the dishes


no one cares if you don’t like short hair on girls shut the fuck up